literature

The wolf

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The night was silent. The soft, flowing breeze swept through the screen in my window, making my curtains do a small, outward push, which was enough to catch my attention as I lay there on my back, looking at the star constallation poster on my ceiling. I turn my gaze to look around my room, posters of prancing horses, posing dogs, and relaxing tigers littered the white painted room from floor to ceiling. Such a familiar and home-like place to me, yet still...it didnt seem right.

In the past few years, the thoughts of a lot of things ran through my mind. Its natural for someone my age to do that. School, friends, family, you name it. But one thing that always loomed from the back corner of my mind was my dreams. For three months now-three months from tomorrow, actually, I stopped remembering my dreams. It's not a normal thing, hell, I still remember dreams from years back. I've had vivid dreams and nightmares...some dreams questioned my faith, questioned who I am. But it bothered me to the extent where I think something is wrong that it had been so long since a single dream of mine was remembered.

So it was this thought, with some compelling outside force that not even I can explain to you right now, that made me sit up and swing my legs off the edge of my bed. The coldness of my room hit my bare thighs and arms.
Well, I always liked a cold room...
was just a thought that ran across my mind as I reached down to get the pajama pants I had discarded and left in a pile on the ground not an hour before.
Pulling them on, I rubbed a hand over my face, and I wondered what I was doing. I never get out of a warm bed unless I have good reasons to. I looked back at my bed, then warm, mink blanket and down comforter looked so inviting, the four of five pillows piled at the head just asking to be flopped upon. My pug dog, Charles, snoring up a storm in his royal blue dog bed at the foot of my own, his little black paws twitching a little in his sleep.

I pulled the pants on over my underwear and grabbed a comfy sweatshirt with a pritn of a pack of wolves across the middle and pulled it over my white camisole, sticking my hands in the front pocket on the sweatshirt comfortably as I walked silently to my bedroom door. As I passed the blue blanket that covered up my birds cage I heard him make a small, curious twit. I tapped the cage and shushed him, pulling on the door handle and slipping out of the comfort of my room, closing it gently behind me.

If my bedroom was cold, the house was stiffling hot. My mom had banked the fire before going to bed, so now a soft, eery red glow emitted the living room below me. Silently I walked past my parents room and down the flight of carpeted stairs, wincing every time my knee popped or the banister creaked. I'm one of those people that always think something bad is going to happen at any time, so the twitchy feeling I had was really nothng new.

Finally I made my way into the living room, the firelight playing on my face, making my features etched out a little in red and orange glow. Straight ahead I walked, stepping up on the cold tile that surrounds my front door. Without even turning on the outside floodlights, I unlocked and opened the front door silently, once again slipping out.

It was then, as the freezing California mountain night air hit my face, that I suddenly wondered what I was doing out there. The huge pines loomed around me, everything silent except for the breeze through the branches, and the night creatures singing their tune. I felt an urge to just turn around and go back to the warm comfort of my room, to sleep and think about things.

Yet at the same time, another, more stronger force compelled me to continue on
To where? I asked
But I got no answer from myself.

So I followed the concrete path from my front door, my feet already numb from its cold surfce. I huddled up closer in my sweatshirt, for the temperature could be no higher than 30 degrees Farenheit, and though I loved the cold, it was already taking its slow toll. I walked out to the driveway, looking around. Ahead of me was the barn-not really a barn at all but a huge garage where we keep our camper trailer. Though the dog runs ran from the outside to the inside, I saw no sign of our other dogs, the two german shepherds. Lucky things must be all cozy in their doghouses.

Without really thinking about it, I turned to my left and walked parallel to the house, passing the closed garage door and turning the corner, walking to the back. The whole time I walked along the side lawn I couldnt help but pray 'please dont let me step in anything'.

Safely I made it to the back of the house. I walked along the other contrete pathway that led to the larger dog pen, and beyond that-the lake.

It actually wasnt a real lake, more like a pond. During autumn the rains filled it up, during winter it froze enough to have fun times sliding on the ice. In Summer it was a large dip in the ground with weeds and crickets that hopped away from your feet like mad things.

The moonlight made a soft reflextion on the large pond. Being autumn, it was filled about halfway. The rains hadn't come for a while now, so it was no surprise not to see it full at this time of the year. I gazed out at the waters, enticed as I just stood there in my sweater at the peak of the night. the moon caught my gaze, tilting my head back, I could see it perfectly through an opening in the trees.

Hmm...thats odd...you can never see the moon from here...this is facing north...

My forehead furrowed a bit. I quite frankly remembered this from the night of the lunar eclipse-I was unable to see the eclipse because of the unfortunate events that the trees were in the way. Still slightly confused, I found myself once again walking out further beyond my house. I barely remember unhooking the chain around the fence and sliding past the gate. My ears barely heard the pine needles crunching under my bare feet, nor do I remember feeling any pain as some of the ones sticking up at an odd angle punctured my foot. I was oblivious, and I didnt know why. My heart was pounding in my chest, I could hear it in my head.

And for some reason, it was no surprise to me when I stopped in my steps, my breath causing steam to still in the air as my gaze looked out at the pond, and standing on a small island in the water, was a wolf.

My mind knew it was a female. I dont know how, but as I stared at her, time seemed to freeze. Like the Matrix movies, when they go into bullet time, and you see them running slowly, dodging bullets and whatnot. So, as here, time seemed to run like molassas. And in that same time frame, the wolfess stepped toward me and made her way over. It was only when she was halfway did I notice that when her paws hit the smooth water, no ripples were made, and nothing was disturbed. She wasn't even walking in the water...she was on top.

I was sure every creature on the planet could hear my heart beating, for it pounded loudly in my ears. It seemed like forever until the wolf stopped in front of me, not even 4 feet away. She seemed bigger than a normal wolf, even though I had never really seen on in real life. Her shoulder came up approximately to the bottom of my ribcage. I noted that her paws made no indent on the soft bank, whereas my bare feet sank in half an inch.

I slowly knelt down on my knees in front of her, my eyes gazing into her own. How I held her strong gaze, not even I know, but it was powerful. She pulled me in to her, my knees moving myself forward until I kneeled right in front of her. I expected to feel her breath warm over my face, but I did not even see steam from her black nose. I then wondered if she was real. Was this all a ruse? All a figment of my imagination? but it was so real...oh so real...

So I reaches my hands forward, and I knew that before I touched that soft fur, that it was real. As real as the needles embedded in my foot, as real as the cold air seeping through my clothes. I buried my fingers in her neck and shoulder fur-and she didnt seem to mind in the least. The minute I made contact with her form, I felt a powerful feel through my body. Like in a game, when you found the treasure and beat the bad guy. This was my treasure...this was what I've been waiting for.

I've been waiting for you to come

I nodded a little, entwining my fingers into her course outer fur, feeling the softer hairs beneath it. My throat was choked up, I couldnt say anything even if I tried.

You need not say a word. Here...follow me, I hve things to show you...

I looked up to expect her to leave for me to follow her, but nothing happened. She did not move a muscle. But suddenly my vision swam and my brain began getting fuzzy. Frantically I tried to fight it off, yet a warm blanket of comfort enveloped my mind, and I slept...

I was standing in blank oblivion. Or maybe it was a room, painted like the night sky. I did not know. but I noticed my clothes were gone. But at the same time, I didnt care. It was not cold, it was not hot. Everything was comfortable, there was nothing to complain about. I looked at the endless expanse of starts and planets in front of me, and got caught a little by surprise when the wolfess sppeared from nowhere and padded toward me. I opened my mouth to ask her where this was, but I found I could not speak. Silently, she stood next to me and looked out in the direction I was looking.

Place your paw on my forehead, and I will show you...

I followed her steps and touched three fingers between her eyes, suddenly, the exapanse of stars around me dissappeared, and images were running before me. All of them wolves, all of them having meaning...

I cannot tell you each image I saw...for if I did, this would drag on a lot longer, and a lot of my private thoughts would be revealed. But I smiled, I cried, I became fearful...sad... and the whole time the wolfess stood there silently by my side, as if she could see the images I saw. Maybe she could. I saw foxes, I was wolves, I saw my friends...kitsunes, dogs, unicorns...every one I knew. I saw joy, when the wolves of the wild were abundant. I saw Fear and sadness when I watched bounty hunters shoot them down...a kill of seventeen wolves hanging by their paws on a wall. Every one of them had a life, a pack, something to lvie for, and it ended.

As did the visions end abruptly. Suddenly and drew my hand quickly away from the wolfess, as if I touched a hot iron burning stove. She looked up at me with that intruiging gaze, and this time I looked away, unable to meet it. I know what she wanted to show me...and I understood. I could never explain it in words, but I knew in my heart and soul.

Somehow she understood it too, and slowly I drifted back, my eyelids fluttering open as I found myself on my hands and knees in the bank by the pond. I kneel there for a while, returning my breathing rate to normal, when I raise my eyes. The place was empty. My neighbors house and my own behind me dark. The wolfess was nowhere to be seen, nor was any sign of her coming here. Remembering those fables of my childhood, I searched my hands or pockets and the ground around me for something she mightve left to always remind me of this event or the like.
Nothing.
I slowly got to my trembling knees, not noticing the packed earth that clung to my pants as I trundled back to the back door of my house, only to find it locked and having to walk the way I came.

I found myself back in my bedroom, now sufficiently about twenty degrees colder than when I left it, and stripped off my sweatshirt and pants, stumbling lazily under the covers and curling up with my plushie, starting to fall asleep when my head touched the pillow.

And it was only then that I realized I did not see the moon in the sky on my return walk.
hmm, this is all from scratch. Forgive me if theres typos or whatnot. As Im writing this description, I have no idea where this is going...so wish me luck, and I hope you enjoy XP
© 2004 - 2024 Idess
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Amaterasu-of-Sunrise's avatar
Oh wow! This is awsome!!